Synthetic performance monitoring with Selenium

So you came to the point where you want to know how is your site performing *right now* and are there any changes after the most recent deployment. You already have Real user monitoring established, but users are so different, you know. You need something reproducible, a base-line. Googling gave you Gomez and Keynote and you are horrified by the price. Welcome our old friend Selenium! We’ll talk how to turn Selenium in monitoring tool and what can we reasonably archive with it.